(via lovejamiex)
So tomorrow, I have Christmas Distribution to attend for Key Club @ the Arboretum from 9-12 ;D I really wanted to sleep in, but whatever I’ve got the whole 2 weeks of Winter Break left to do that. After that, I’m going to Old Town Pasadena to shooop with my best friend & @Paseo Colorado! Then once it hits about 3:30, we’re going to hit the ASB fundraiser at the Pasadena Ice Skating Rink! I’m excited cause it’s going to be the first time I’ve ever ice skated since I pussied out at a birthday party way back in 4th grade. After that, I’m either going to Huy’s birthday gathering or I’ll hang around Pasadena for awhile more. Depends what I feel like doing. &Shit, I still need to do all my Christmas shopping LOL. Tomorrow will be fun :)

I just noticed how power outlets look so much like faces.
A long time ago, when you loved me, I looked into the mirror and felt beautiful. When people asked me how I was doing, I couldn’t help but answer, “I’m good!”
Because I was good. I had you. We had each other.
But then I lost you. Or so I thought. And when I looked into the mirror, I saw a girl who had cried way too many tears, and I thought to myself, ‘You love and lose, every time…’ When people asked me how I was doing, I couldn’t lie and say ‘good’, so I told the truth. I told them, “I’m doing okay…”
And that got so old. Being ‘just okay’. I was so tired of being tired. So tired of the ache, of the fact that my heart had shattered, and the pieces were so sharp, so sharp that it hurt to breathe because breathing meant I was living without you…
But I realized a few things, through all those tears. Realized a lot of things, actually. Even though my heart was broken, I wasn’t broken.
You broke my heart and told me it was because I deserved better. Well, did it ever occur to you that I KNEW I could do better than you? Did it ever, just ONCE occur to you that I chose you? That I wanted you, despite your scars and past?
And a lot has happened since I lost you. So much, that when I look into the mirror these days, I see a girl who lost something precious; she lost the boy she loved…She cried so many tears for him, and because of him. But she smiled through those tears. She smiled through the pain, and always kept her pride, never let herself slip away into nothingness. Because even when she lost you, she was strong enough to be ‘just okay’.
And then she started to want more than just okay. So she healed. She understood that you never broke her, and learned that if she could stand losing you, she could stand anything. So today, when I look into the mirror, I smile and see a girl who feels beautiful. When people ask me how I am doing, I answer, ‘I’m good!’ Because I am good.
I have me. And for the first time, I’m good, and my goodness doesn’t depend on you. You taught me to love myself first. You taught me to respect myself. But it makes me sad because I know you can’t say the same.
(via cindyxlove)